Trivial Race
by The Atomic Cafe
Summary: You implied it.' Her grin widened. 'You can't stand having someone who knows as many useless facts as you do.' MS.


**Trivial Race**

**By Dimgwrthien**

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: NY or affiliates.

Stella could only grin across the desk at Mac, who seemed impassively upset, his face only barely betraying his emotions. Stella's foot tapped lightly against the floor as she crossed her arms.

"You hate it," she pointed out. "You can't stand examining the scene with Hawkes."

Mac glanced at her, looking annoyed now. "I never said that."

"You implied it." Her grin widened. "You can't stand having someone who knows as many useless facts as you do."

Mac's look said everything for me. Stella only continued to smile. "Just admit it, Mac."

"I'm not agreeing, though." His lips curled into a half-smile. "I still think I know more useless facts than he does."

"Well, defend your title, then." Stella crossed around his desk, standing at the computer. Mac moved his hair, smiling, amused, at how concentrated she looked. She typed into it, though he couldn't see what. "Sit on that side," she commanded, pointing to where she had stood before.

"I -"

"You're defending your title." Stella smiled and looked out of the glass walls. She looked concentrated again, then brightened up. Mac looked to where she was pointing at someone and saw Hawkes. Stella waved for him. The man frowned, looking at her, then turned to enter the office.

"Stella?"

"Hey. Are you doing anything now?"

"Just running around samples. Why?"

Stella leaned on one foot, her hands on her hips. Mac smiled as he watched the two of them, seeing Stella's confidence and Hawkes' obvious confusion.

"Mac says you're good on the team."

Hawkes seemed happy to hear this, but remained silent.

"He says you know plenty of useless facts."

"I wouldn't quite call them that," Hawkes answered. "If they were useless, I wouldn't say them, and he wouldn't know I said them."

"Good point." Stella raised her eyebrows to Mac. "How useless are these facts?"

"I never used the word useless."

"You're right. I do believe you said…" Stella pursed her lips and mimed an air of great concentration. "Was it 'things that no one on earth should know or even be able to apply to any physical event'?"

Mac remained silent and ignored Hawkes' curious look.

"So…" Stella clicked a button on the computer and kneeled down on the floor to see it from a level angle. "Five minutes, just a quick competition. Obscure trivia, just to prove Mac hates being upstaged."

"I never -"

"Implication," Stella sang, then smiled. "First question. What sweetener can be used as an antiseptic ointment?"

"Honey," Hawkes answered.

Stella glanced at Mac, surprised to see no expression on his face. "Second. What's a singular quanta called?"

Mac answered before Hawkes. "Quantum. Stella, these aren't obscure - we'd know all of these."

"Alright." She scrolled down the page. "What were gladiators armed with, beside daggers and spears."

There was a long moment of silence before Mac answered, "A net."

Hawkes raised his eyebrows. "How'd you know that?"

"Obscure knowledge. It's my job," Mac answered simply with a smile. "See, Stella? I told you I knew it."

"When Hawkes wins, you'll be throwing a fit." Stella grinned as she searched the page. "Who said this quote… 'I am the president of the United States, and I'm not going to -'"

"''- eat anymore brocolli'," Mac finished. "George Bush. If you want obscure knowledge, look for something harder."

"I didn't know that." Hawkes frowned. "Where the hell are you getting this stuff, Mac?"

Stella watched them, smiling at Mac's silence. "Alright, alright. Who said that, in two hundred years, the Sphinx's head will fall off from erosion."

"Chikaosa…" Hawkes closed his eyes. "Something. I can never remember his last name." At their curious looks, he shrugged. "Saw it in an article. Very interesting. "

"Who invented the adding machine and when?"

"Blaise Pascal," Hawkes answered as Mac said, "In 1642."

Stella grinned. "So I assume putting the two of you on the same team would win Trivial Pursuit."

"Mac and I against the entire lab," Hawkes answered with a smile. "Any day."

"I don't like discouraging the lab," Mac said with a small smile. "And I hate it when they have to ask me for all of this information."

"Alright… Let's see… What fruit could Hawaiian women not eat?"

"Coconut," Hawkes answered.

Stella scrolled down the page, reading off questions for the next five minutes. Both Hawkes and Mac seemed amused by her choices, answering most with ease. It was rather like a tennis match, their answers bouncing between the two, including several small arguments that came with the answers."

"How many soldiers did the Air Force have at the beginning of the first World War?"

"About fifty," Mac answered. "Very interesting fact."

Stella raised her eyebrows. "Alright… One more…" She scrolled down the page, reading over a few of the questions, trying to find one to finish. "What's my bra size?"

"It's -" Mac broke off, frowning. "What?"

Hawkes smiled. "That's horrible, Stella. Just because Mac's feeling arrogant doesn't mean you should trick him."

"Hey, you two are tying." She smiled and crossed her arms. "Last obscure fact. Someone has to get it."

"I refuse to… look at my coworker like that." Mac frowned and turned away from her, though some amusement was left on his face.

"You shouldn't have to because you should already know." Stella smiled smugly, her arms still tightly crossed.

Hawkes shrugged as a grin unwrapped on his face. "I don't mind it."

"Well, thank you, Sheldon. At least you're not Sid."

"I have a feeling he'd have an easier time answering this."

"True." Stella looked between them as she sat on the desk. "So, Mac. Are you admitting to Hawkes sharing your knowledge and pointless things or am I going to have to stand here until someone guesses?"

Mac looked between Hawkes and Stella, studying them both closely. The words were close to his tongue, ready to escape, to admit all defeat. But some pride in him, a instinct that was almost animalistic that wouldn't let him give up started to fight him down. There was no godliness in ruling the lab without having something no one else did.

He sighed. "Alright, alright."

Stella looked on expectantly.

"Thirty-six C?"


End file.
